There’s basically three things you need to have at a ski resort: snow, lifts, and ski patrol. Sure there are plenty more things that enhance the experience, but elk stew, spicy tuna rolls, ski instructors from Austria, and artisanal handmade cocktails, aren’t going to get you up on the mountain for the best day of your life. The first no brainer, is snow. No snow, no go. A resort without snow is only agreeable in the summer. More likely you’ll probably be storm chasing and just book your trip to whichever weather.com alerts happen to be blowing up your phone. The second, lifts, make a significant difference in the average skiers’ overall experience. Sure you can go hike Glory Bowl or even Snow King, but after one hike up and one all too quick ski down, your legs will probably be jello and you’ll call it a day. That is if your flatland lungs even get you to the top. To get the vert, you need preferably a high speed quad or better yet a tram to take you to the top of those powder covered goods. You’ll race down and then be happy to be sitting on the chair to catch your breath and give your legs a rest, so you can do it all over again in just minutes. Of course this isn’t a story about lifts or deadbeat lifties (disclaimer: I spent some of the best winters of my life being one) that usher people up the hill like Disneyland workers. No one remembers who is manning Space Mountain, you just remember the ride. No, the unit that runs the show at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort are the fine men and women who serve on the legendary Ski Patrol. They are the ones who risk their lives day in and day out so the rest of us can go play in the powder. So, here’s to the best and most dedicated skiers on the mountain, who just happen to make the greatest mountain in the lower 48 skiable every day of the season. Ski caps and helmets off to you and everything you do.
Crack of Dawn
While you are still tucked asleep safe in your bed dreaming of endless powder runs, Jackson Hole Ski Patrollers make their way to the resort by 5 am, a full 4 hours before the resort is even open. Mother Nature can be a cold-hearted beast and does whatever she wants when she wants. While you and the rest of the town are praying for a biblical amount of snow to drop from the heavens as is hyped and forecasted, it’s the Ski Patrol who has to tidy up the hill, so to speak and get the resort open. They do this by dropping bombs, a whole infantries worth and it takes place before you’ve even had your first cup of coffee in the morning. A typical weapon in the avalanche fight is a 2-pound charge with a 90-second fuse that a patroller will hurl over a slope while doing their best Joe Montana impression, with hopes of getting hanging snow to slide. It’s a fine line of wanting to reduce the danger without knocking all the snow off the slope, because ultimately the patrol as well as the guests want to ski it and ski it safely. The patrol gets to sample the “product” first to make sure it’s safe for mass consumption, but they definitely want to leave plenty of it intact for the paying customers. No snow, no go, remember.
Picture a bakery still black from last night, but instead of scones, bagels, and croissants being cranked out, it’s freshly made morning bombs. The patrol is hard at work each and every day break, making bombs to drop from the tram or hand toss on the hill. Imagine strolling into your cubicle first thing in the morning, with sleep still in your eyes, transitioning from dreams to waking life and instead of firing up your computer and checking emails and Facebook you bust out the live explosives and get to work making bombs. Bombs that you’ll soon be chucking all over the hill with a mere minute in a half before blowing up, hopefully fracturing the slope and not yourself. When they are done baking bombs, they’ll pack as many of these freshly made explosives as they can fit into their pack and ski about distributing them like bread crumbs around the resort. Think about skiing around the mountain with a pack weighted down with live explosives and other heavy gear next time you’re simply cruising around making hot laps. And you were just worried about losing an edge, falling, and breaking your new iPhone safely stashed in your Gore-Tex parka. With bombs come responsibility and all patrollers are certified by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosive and are required to do a refresher course before each season begins. It’s not just the explosives that patrollers risk when they do their morning patrols, it’s also the very real risk of getting caught in an avalanche.
First Responders and More
No one expects or wants to get hurt when they go skiing, but if you do, rest assured that the cavalry dressed sharply in red, high-tech ski shells will be the first ones on the scene. They are just a radio call away and they can descend down to you quickly and efficiently. Think one part Lindsey Vonn or Herman Maier and one part ambulance EMT racing towards you in their best Super G. They are trained to handle medical emergencies and deal with triage while straddling a 40-degree slope. They can also expertly get you down the mountain in a “meat wagon” if need be. Add in your weight, the weight of the medical toboggan and you’ll truly be filled with awe and gratitude as how a ski patroller can ski 4k of vert towing a toboggan and not just ski it, but ski it well. The Ski Patrollers at Jackson Hole have seen it all and know how to handle it all. In fact it’s a hard unit to get into. With little turn over and with some patrollers working the mountain since the 1970s, Jackson Hole is where the best of the best want to work and be.
Of course not all of the job is skiing fresh pow, chucking bombs, and rescue missions. Some of it is mundane and taxing, like putting up signs, installing boundary ropes, giving directions to tourists, or even playing traffic cop. More times than not they do it with a smile on their faces and are always ready to serve the mountain and the public because they love it. They’re pretty much like super heroes on skis, except they don’t fight crime, but fight injuries and promote skier safety for all. So, next time you share a chair with a woman or man smartly dressed in Jackson red with a patrollers cross emblazoned on their jacket, give them a nod and a quick thank you for letting you safely have the best day, weekend, and/or vacation of your life. It’s the least you can do.
